Moving to a new country can certainly be a very strong life experience. No matter how much I was travelling before, and all the knowledge and experience I had accumulated on intercultural learning, culture shock and stuff like that, the fact of actually moving to Prague, Czech Republic in 2015 still hit me like a truckload of bricks.
Granted, Prague is a wonderful place to live in (and one of the main tourist destinations in Europe) and I don’t regret at all my decision. Still, at times it may be hard. That’s why I decided to write this post which will be a bit more silly than the rest of the stories I publish on this blog.
Hope is, this may help others not to make the same mistake and never leave home to adapt more easily when moving to a different country. Or maybe not, but it feels very liberating to be able to put these thoughts in plain text. And anyway, learning about a different culture is also the best way to learn about our own culture, and ourselves.
A bit of a disclaimer here: I certainly don’t want to offend anybody. The post intends to be humourous and has to be read with a bit of a satirical tone in mind. Plus, if you think that my observations are not complete and comprehensive, it’s because they aren’t. They are just that: observations.
If in the post there is something that offsets you – hey, peace. We can breathe the same air and have different opinions on stuff. Hard to believe, but it’s possible. Maybe you don’t like the music, but please don’t shoot the pianist.
Edit (after 3 days and about 5,000 visits):
A BIT MORE DISCLAIMING. As I feared, the first wasn’t enough. The post got an unexpected visibility (great!) and with visibility, come people who read quickly and are willing to get offended even more quickly (not so great!). To hopefully end the arguments, the meaning of the word “satire” can be found here.
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Anyway, ready for the list? Here we go!
1) For Czech Republic, Prague is “The Capitol” from The Hunger Games.
In Italy, Rome is the political capital, but there are many main cities with their own distinct identity, and sometimes something interesting happens there too (except in Viterbo, because nothing ever happens there). It’s like the country has more than one centre of gravity, and it’s fine.
But here in the Czech Republic, Prague is really THE city. Everything happens there, and all the power seems to be concentrated in one place. Politics, culture, media, jobs, opportunities. People just live different lives than in the rest of the country, can do strange things like being vegan or have an Asian brunch, they wear fancy clothes and have blue or purple hair.
Prague natives are also somewhat proud of their local accent (which to me sounds funnier, slower, with longer vowels, and seems to be really hated by everybody else in the country).
Salaries are way higher than anywhere else, but so is rent (like two, three times more), eating out and basically everything else.
But if you travel just outside of the city, you will enter a different country. Small-town Czech Republic will present different challenges of course (be prepared to attract puzzled looks as a foreigner, and almost nobody will understanding a word of English, for example), but it will also provide with unique rewards and many hidden gems.
Like having a full meal or a round of beers for an incredible price. Or meeting people who love to live a simpler, slower life and will be genuinely interested in hearing about you. I had experiences especially in the area around Brno and Ostrava. New companies, farms, NGOs and the local university are very active to create an alternative to the “Capitol City” lifestyle.
If you love art and history, the country has the highest concentration of perfectly preserved castles in Europe, apparently. And the nature is also really diverse, peaceful and beautiful.
Seriously, plan a trip to explore Czech Republic outside Prague, when you have a chance. You will be rewarded.
2) A lot of people seem to be in a bad mood. Always.
Aaah, there is something true in every stereotype, isn’t there?
The average Czech you meet in the street will most likely be in a great hurry to be somewhere else than in your presence (see point #7, below), and will look like they just had a very bad day. Even if it’s early in the morning – maybe even worse. This grumpiness extends to driving (= no patience at all for the slightest hesitation or mistake) and public transport (= if you stand in the wrong line or place, someone will correct that. Probably by pushing, elbowing or stomping on your feet). At least, in Prague. Having to rely on a random act of kindness by a stranger can be an experience that requires patience. For your own good, try never to be confused by the bureaucracy in a public office, and never, ever get stuck with your car on the side of the road.
In a way, it’s a very encouraging learning environment. In the sense that you are encouraged to learn fast. Or die.
3) Language is hard. I mean: real hard.
No, seriously. Sources disagree, but I read that it’s one of the hardest in Europe, and possibly in the world. It’s estimated that a person needs about 4 years of study to reach fluency (and I am not studying).
First of all, there are some factors that don’t encourage you to learn it at all. You can live in a social bubble that doesn’t speak Czech, for example. Or, you can just panic and stop going out altogether. I would know, I tried it.
But if you try to learn the beautiful language, at the beginning you feel like everything is against you. Accents and digraphs make for a stunning 42 characters in the alphabet (nice, uh?). Some sounds are also very specific to learn, with the terrible Ř that will give me troubles until the end of my life. It sounds like a drrj, by the way.
And then, grammar starts.
7 cases (for the first time in my life I am happy I studied all that Latin at school) and 4 genders (!): masculine, feminine, neutrum and masculine inanimated. The latter still doesn’t make any sense at all to me – as well to anybody else I asked, including native speakers. It’s for objects that are not objects enough to get the neutrum, maybe. I don’t know. The word for car (auto) is neutrum, while the train (vlak) is masculine. Go figure.
There are also (a few) good news. At least there are no articles, thanks to the cases. Which explains why many Czechs don’t know what to do with articles in languages like English or French. And the verbs and prepositions are not such a horrible mess as in Italian.
Not only Czech is a slavic language, but it’s considered the model for many other languages of the group. Which means, more “pure” and with less foreign interferences. Arranging an appointment or a date is a challenge, since you have to learn even the names of the week days and the months from scratch. Your only hope for help is if you speak Polish or Slovak, and that’s not exactly helping my case here.
The longest sentence without a vowel seems to be: Strč prst skrz krk (“stick your finger through your throat”). Try that next time, as a tonguetwister!
Edit: as Petr E commented, the longest sentence without a vowel seems to be different. “Blb vlk pln žbrnd zdrhl hrd z mlh Brd skrz vrch Smrk v čtvrť srn Krč.” (A dumb wolf full of bad drinks proudly excaped from the mist of Brdy forest through Smrk hill into the deers’ district Krč).
“Full of bad drinks” surely indicates that the wolf is not Czech. Polish, probably.
4) Eating & Drinking habits can be equally intense.
Czech Republic is famous for its beer, and rightly so. Czechs are well aware of it. They seem to be the biggest beer drinkers in the whole world (followed by the Seychelles. Which makes sense. What else are you supposed to do, if you live on a paradise island? Drink until you explode, obviously).
A Czech drinks an average of 142 litres of beer in a year, which makes for almost a pint a day, each day, for every man, woman or child living in the country. Not bad at all.
This helps to put a lot of things in context, for example the first time I met my father-in-law, and we all ended up totally drunk, before having dinner. But no worries, Czechs also love drinking wine, as well as everything else with alcohol. All in the name of health (na zdraví) of course. Of course.
When you are at it, try Kofola. It’s the national alternative to Coca Cola. I find it more refreshing!
Same for the food. Czech traditional cuisine is like other parts of the culture: rich, solid, intimidating. It’s a paradise for high protein, meat eaters. Bara, my wife, has approximately half my body mass. And yet she never ceases to surprise me when she digs into her Svíčková (roasted beef with onion, double boiled in cream and served with dumplings) like it’s a piece of cake. But then, she would never eat fruit after a meal, because “it’s bad for digestion”. Makes sense.
5) People like to be naked and to go around just like that.
Now, nothing could prepare me for this. Czechs have a very casual approach to nudity (which somehow extends to sexuality at least in part, but that’s another story). Be warned when you accept an invitation to go to sauna, for example. In most places it’s actually forbidden to enter with your swimming suit on!
A visit to a “Beer Spa” however (picture above) is one of the things you have to do, before you die. Yes, you are actually bathing in beer. No, the girls are not always there.
But not only. My friends here have absolutely no problem at all getting naked for a quick swim in the local river or lake, even with people having their picnics all around. It’s just a thing they do.
If I can imagine a scale going from total prudishness to absolute love for nudity, it would probably look like this:
And I was thinking to be more or less in a comfortable middle position.
But actually, I still feel terribly embarassed about that one time I had to take a swim in my underwear…
Being in the Czech Republic and engaging in social activities here, challenged me on how prude I really am.
6) Xenophobia is on the rise. Except, maybe not really.
Now that’s worrying, when talking about Central Europe. Don’t take me wrong, it could be much worse (think Hungary, or Poland). Things here are still much softer, and Czechs don’t like to take an extreme point of view on racism – just as on many other topics. It’s not a culture of strong, radical opinions.
The country, and Prague in particular, has a very strong international vocation and is right in the middle between Eastern and Western Europe, which is why it has always been a natural crossroads of cultures.
But here is the thing, the whole place is a paradox. The international presence in the country is strong (about 4.5%), and in Prague, almost 10% of residents are non-Czech. And yet, politicians and opinion leaders manage to pull out incredibly racist or aggressive stunts, like President Zeman who manages to insult someone with every other speech, or like that time when a group of “activists” held an event in the Old Town Square involving a jeep, a camel and firing shots in the air with a fake kalashnikov – creating general panic to “warn against the danger of a Muslim invasion”. Crazy.
Also, to add to the general confusion, two of the most visible political leaders in the somewhat-nationalist-area are Tomio Okamura (Czech, of Japanese origins) and Andrej Babiš (Slovak), media tycoon, Finance Minister and possible next Prime Minister. One would think that the country must be really welcoming towards foreigners, except… they try to convince everybody that it isn’t so.
To make a comparison: imagine a Canadian citizen who moves to USA, manages to join the Republican Party and becomes a member of the US Government; then, on top of that, he makes a coalition with the Democratic President, and together they work to warn people against the danger of a “Mexican invasion”.
It’s not a perfect example (and Zeman certainly is not Obama), but it more or less gives an idea of how intricate things look.
Look. I don’t want to sound too strict or ungenerous. The truth is that the vast majority of the people I have met here have a big heart, a strong sense of hospitality, and are generous beyond words. And every time I try to remind them that I, too, am an immigrant indeed, the comment I receive is “naa, you are fine“.
And after all, I guess that’s the bottom line about racism. People from a different background look and feel scary at first, but after you meet them in person, you realise that naa, they are just fine. And this is valid everywhere.
(The fact that one of them may end up marrying your daughter has probably also a role in how fast you accept that fact, I guess).
So my final opinion on this is: maybe because of the media pressure or the general international situation, Czechs would like to portray themselves as intolerant and unwelcoming. Just to feel like everybody else.
But they fail, because… they aren’t!
7) Time keeping and planning stuff is not a habit. It’s a national obsession.
Now this came from the words of Sabrina, a German (I said, German) volunteer who was in Prague for a period. “Czechs are totally obsessed with time!“, she cried. As I found out, it’s completely true.
Czechs are almost always in a hurry getting someplace or another, and they just love to keep their agendas as packed as possible, and then some. From the (early) morning till sunset, they just need to be busy. Work, leisure, culture and social time, everything is organised and planned and the more details, the better. When you are 5 minutes late, you are late (and people will be grumpy, see #2).
This is also reflected as they travel. When abroad, if things are not super organised, clearly described and planned to the tiniest detail, they will feel slightly lost and without direction. Which will result in more grumpiness and some (always polite) passive-aggressive complaining.
One of the first sentences I learned is “máte plán na vikend?”, which means “what’s your plan for the weekend?“
I came to fear the sound of these words, since when I am not somewhere working I love to keep my weekends as empty as possible, like desolate desert islands where only dead projects and ideas lay, shipwrecked. A space for reflection, inspiration and pure and simple lazyness.
But Czechs always have a plan for their weekends. Sports (the harder, the better: see point 8 below), trips, family meetings, events. When they really have nothing else to do, they move to their little country houses, where they spend saturday and sunday “relaxing”: that is, working their ass off to repair the roof, fix an old bicycle or weed out the garden. And then, have barbecue.
8) EVERYBODY is sporty and outdoorsy.
Aaaand – I am not.
Please take a second to appreciate how hard this must feel, sometimes. Really, every Czech is a natural born sportsperson and they all – I haven’t found an exception yet – love physical activity. Whether it be cycling, skating, running, swimming, parachute, indoor gym, martial arts – it doesn’t matter, as long as it involves moving, and sweating. And they do it with enthusiasm and total commitment.
This also applies to outdoors activities. Czechs love and respect their nature, and try to spend time in it as often as they can.
A hike that lasts less than 6 hours is not even considered being outside. They all seem to be mushroom and berries experts. In summer (and I suspect, in winter too) the rivers are packed with canoe and kayak enthusiasts. Entire families, babies included.
And a certain disregard for anything even remotely related to safety and prevention of risks contributes to making it a very exciting picture.
Czechs love their outdoor equipment and keep it in perfect efficiency. It’s a second skin for them, and in fact they consider it normal to walk in the city streets dressed as they would be in a forest: boots, backpack, packed lunch, 2 different sport bottles, and all the rest. Which for me is, like, the opposite of “sexy”, but certainly must have some advantages too.
Really, if a zombie apocalypse or if nuclear war breaks out, I would feel really relieved to be surrounded by Czechs. These people are natural survivors. And they can always spare a sandwich.
9) Public transport takes you everywhere, but people still take their cars.
This must be one of the few really good things that Socialism has left in the country. The public transport is excellent: rides are frequent, the system is organised and efficient. I take my car maybe once, twice in a month (how does it feel compared to Italy, I leave to your imagination).
In Prague metro and tram tickets are still a bit of a funny business, relying (incredibly) on the little obsolete, yellow machines which are out of order 50% of times, and only accept coins. Weird. But since I have my yearly pass, I feel I can get anywhere, simply and reliably. This includes extra-urban transport, and every little town seems to be connected to the network in somewhat of a satisfying way. Again, the comparison with Italy is brutal – there, if you live in a small town, you simply need a car to get anywhere; and if you live in a big city, better forget the public transport and take your car anyway.
So why do Czechs still own – and drive – cars? Finding a parking place in Prague is as hard a job as in Napoli, and that simply doesn’t make sense to me. Probably the answer has something to do with #7 of this list, the time obsession. I hear people saying: “Sure, I can go to work by tram, but if I take the car it will save me 12 minutes“.
I still can’t help but smile, every time. In Rome, if you can save 12 minutes by taking a car, it still means you will probably be 48 minutes late for your appointment.
Edit: in the comment section, Vladimir helped me to get a more complete view on this topic. He writes:
“Perhaps if there really is a special Czech affinity for cars, it’s not because of obsession with time, but rather status. This is a common thing for whole central and eastern Europe. We had to (and most still have to) live in relative poverty, therefore we want at least not to FEEL poor. Average Czech would drive to work even if it takes twice as much time as with public transport, because, you know, public transport is for losers. Very common derogatory nickname for public transport is “socka”, as in “social case”. Go figure”.
It’s also true however that, Czechs being the nature lovers that they are, the environmental awareness is growing really fast all over the country. I have seen in person a lot of brave and progressive projects to reduce CO2 emissions and switch to renewable energies, or to reduce the environmental footprint of life in general.
So, let’s not lose hope, becase Times, they are a-changing!
10) Czech Republic is a place where Etiquette still matters. A lot.
This was a big surprise for me, and it can be very important in a relationship, so listen up, don’t repeat my mistake and don’t underestimate this aspect.
The Czech culture is based on a certain level of conformism. Traditions are important and nobody is expected to cause any trouble. There is no such thing as “speaking in a loud voice” (a common discussion between two Italians on what to have for dinner would appear like an incredibly aggressive brawl, here) and I have never heard people shouting – except when drinking too much, of course.
In CZ, people really care for things to be – and look – proper. You go to theatre, you dress up. There is no limit “up”. But you just don’t walk in a theatre (or God forbid! Opera) in your jeans, unless you want to attract a lot of attention of the wrong type.
As well, men are supposed – no, expected! – to perform little actions such as opening a door, holding the chair, helping ladies with their luggage or taking on and off their coats. Apparently in the local understanding, there is no “gender inequality” value attached to it. So don’t try to judge it with your metrics: it’s just the way things work. If you want to blend in, you just adapt to it.
All boys and girls take ballroom dancing lessons as part of their education, and many companies and organisations hold balls in the festive season, which are attended with enthusiasm. Also, in a country that is surprisingly not attached to any religion, people still follow traditional festivities, go to church on Christmas eve, visit the cemetery to pay their respects.
All this, combined with what I said in #2, can be dangerous to the unsuspecting foreigner. In a tram, failing to leave your seat to an elder will attract so many bad looks, you will wish to disappear. Equally bad is when you mess up with the tipping in a café or a restaurant.
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And that was my decalogue this time. Thank you for reading! You can follow our facebook page here. It means a lot to us!
Edit: an article with my reflections and comments on the insane success of this post can be found here.
Again, my point was not to offend anybody with this post. This is not a scientific study and has not been validated by a panel of experts (although if you made it reading so far, you probably got that).
I will be happy to react and edit any information that might be incomplete or wrong. Writing was mainly my way to celebrate my almost 1 year and a half in Prague. I love the city and the life here, and I continue to discover more and more parts of its rich and fascinating culture.
And how is it for you? Did you have a similar experience when moving to a new country? I would love to have a little discussion in the comments section. All stories are the welcome!
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2018 Edit: this article is still getting a lot of clicks, it’s awesome! Thank you!
In the meantime, I started my activity as a stand-up comedian! If you want to check out my activity in Prague (and elsewhere), you can follow the page https://www.facebook.com/carminestandup/.
I would really appreciate it!
Maybe you want to check out also the follow-up story, about ways Czech people love to spend their free time:
5 very Czech ways to spend a weekend
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To say nothing of the cat 
masculine inanimate…. wtf…..!! I have quite a few writings like this from living in other countries but then you acclimatise and adopt the habits and you look back on your musings from when you were new and you think “why was I so shocked by this…it makes so much more sense to do it this way…”
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yes. Although I think I will never get on top of the “masculine inanimate” thing :D
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I’d suggest you to not really think too hard about genders of words. You have masculine for men, feminine for women… And about other things, it’s just a random mess. After some time you will guess the gender of things because they just sound like that and that’s about it.
Btw we don’t use neutrum specifically for inanimate objects. We use every gender for them. That’s really the only reason there is that masculine inanimate – because masculine animate would sound weird when used for inanimate things.
So if it’s a male, use masculine, if it’s a female, use feminine, if it’s anything else, just guess any gender that sounds best for you.
P.S. I loved the article too!
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Masculine inanimate is perfectly logical. It works for the case creation.
In general you have masculine, feminine and neuter endings. Did you ever hear of the “example words” for each of the type of case creation? There are 14 of them.
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@Jana: yes I did, I attended two times intensive language course to help me to get the basics.
I am not super sure that having to learn 14 example-words to understand how declinations work can be considered “logical”. Czech is a language for engineers of the mind.
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The difference between masculine animate and inanimate is not that difficult. Masculine words will be animate if they describe a person, an animal, or inanimate object that has some human-like qualities (i.e. sněhulák, snowman). Some words can have different meanings in animate and inanimate form. Panák (mannequin) is animate, while panák (alcohol shot) is inanimate, “robots” that even remotely resemble humans are animate, while kitchen robots are inanimate, with factory robots, both forms are applicable.
What’s completely fucked up are the grammatic genders of non-living things, I think they are purely arbitrary. Sklenice (glass) is feminine while půllitr (half-liter beer glass) or tuplák (liter beer glass) are masculine. Hora (mountain) is feminine while vrch (mountain or hill) and kopec (hill) are masculine. Oh and living things can be in neutrum, i.e. dítě, mimino, batole (child, baby, toddler) or prase (pig) and kuře (chicken).
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Thank you for the contribution! And that’s the part I really don’t understand, where is the line between neutrum and inanimate?
Although all the discussion about robots, which can be either, doesn’t represent a great step towards clarity :)
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There isn’t any line between neutrum and inanimate masculine. There isn’t any line between neutrum and feminine either. The genders of words are in general not supposed to mean anything, there is no system in it. Don’t try to find one!
There kinda is a rule to distinguish between animate and inanimate masculine (with exceptions), but other than that anything can be any gender.
If anything, the gender somewhat depends on the ending of the word, not its meaning.
BTW, regarding the animals: There’s usually a masculine and feminine version of the word for the kind of animal, sometimes they do sound similar (liška = female fox, lišák = male fox), sometimes they don’t (býk – bull, kráva – cow, pes = male dog, fena = female dog), sometimes something in between (kachna = female duck, kačer = male duck), sometimes the female form is considered the “basic” sometimes the male is. Sometimes the base word is neutrum. …
Really do not try to find any kind of system in this!
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Don’t assume that neutrum should be inanimate. Like some said before, the genders of inanimate objects are totally random. By the way you’ll run into the same thing in German for example. And in case you’re wondering – no, gramatic gender of same thing generally isn’t the same for German and Czech. It’s just as random.
And so chair, while inanimate object, is feminen in Czech and masculine in German. Enjoy.
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I am trying.
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Well all nouns in czech language are divided into genders by how they inflect. There are few “pattern words” for each gender and they follow their inflection forms, by that you determine which gender they belong to. There are different “pattern words” for masculine, masculine inanimated and neutrum. By that you can easily(for czech cuz they drill it into us in school) determin whether its MI or neutrum. To take it on at basic lvl and really inaccurate “masculine inanimated” words are theirs exact definition, they are words who behave like masculine but real world the object they represent isnt alive(i know its robably super hard to do as a foreigner, but this is probably best explanation I can put right now cuz,- im in a hurry you know :_D , related to this are pronouns “to” and “ten” which help to determine it, but its probably impossible for stranger to do since we basicly learn to recognize which of the gender it is since our birth even tho most of us dont realize it)
Anyway nice and quite accurate article :D
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It is really funny specially ther point 7 and i have learnt something new, did not realize that Czechs are obsessed with time keeping but now I think they are.
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“Czech Republic is a place where Etiquette still matters.” I was just thinking, maybe I can buy a one way ticket for my parents, once that they are always complaining about the clothes that I wear. It’s always a war everytime that I need to go to an event, Czech Republic it sounds the perfect place for them (joking, I like my parents a lot and I need them here in Portugal ^^)…
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Thanks for great observations! I am Czech and I really enjoyed your article. Just to add: yes, the bureaucracy can be terrible here – you are in Kafka’s country, so do not be surprised ;-)
Btw. I googled the longest sentence without a vowel is currently: “Blb vlk pln žbrnd zdrhl hrd z mlh Brd skrz vrch Smrk v čtvrť srn Krč.” (Dumb wolf full of bad drinks proudly excaped from mist of Brdy forest through Smrk hill into the deers’ district Krč) I can imagine even longer one, but it would include a bad word :-)
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thank you :) I will edit the post and credit you.
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One thing I wish they told me before I moved to Belgium 16 years ago: buy a house/apartment/studio/garage/whatever as soon as you can.
There’s nothing I regret the most, paying rent for 10 years before finally deciding to buy a house.
Real estate is very cheap here (compared to Italy) and getting a loan is extremely easy/affordable.
Hopefully a tip I can give my daughters when they grow up.
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yes! the same in Prague. Everybody keeps telling me that “the perfect time to buy a place” was 5 years ago. Too bad I wasn’t around back then. And now I regret spending more money for a property. Then again, prices keep rising. But what if the market collapses?
Ah, decisions, decisions.
Your daughters will not listen to you anyway :)
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I have plenty of examples of “inanimate masculine” down here in Italy… it shouldn’t be that difficult to understand it, Carmine! ;-)
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I honestly didn’t think about it that way. Ahahah you are definitely right, Someone! (Who are you btw)?
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Its-the-damned-best article about us I ever-EVER- saw :D Thanks.
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I am so sorry for you ! :D
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Cool and nice :-)
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Carmine, I laughed so many times during reading this article…really great perceptions…I wish you many more pleasant and funny moments with Czech people…
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Masculine inanimate as a fourth gender? Ha ha :) Is the inanimate one that much worse than the animate?
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I don’t know! But I guess it makes sense (somehow)
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Thank you for writing. I think Prague is one of my favourite cities I’ve visited. I was so amused while reading and giggling since there seems to be a lot of similarities here in EST 🤓
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Ahahah, in which sense? The outdoors mania or being always busy?
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Welcome to Central Europe! Very nice read, Carmine, i really enjoyed it. Wish you all the best!
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Thank you! In Hungary some “central European” feelings may be the same, but i found the lifestyle pretty different. I know it much less though. You find more similarities?
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I am Czech, and this article I got great! Thanks for your insight on us!
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Please don’t take it too seriously! It’s semi serious observations based on some long term friendships, one marriage and 1 year and a half of life here :)
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That’s just it! After a long time, you lose ‘foreigners’ perspective…:-)
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I have just directed my British husband to read this. I have been trying to warn him for years. Not easy – I have my own long list of cultural clashes here in the UK. You have to learn to laugh a lot in an international marriage.
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Oh, that you do :)
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Natalko, is that you? Chris x
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Another real and present danger, especially when chatting to your partner within earshot of your prospective in-laws, is check your phrasebook wasn’t written by some twit whose complete understanding of Czech and the Czech language is the dim recognition of a stag weekend many years earlier. My phrase book assured me that prdelko meant dearest/darling… it doesn’t!
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No, as far as I am aware, it means something different
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Well it kinda does mean that. It’s not a word you’d say to the parents though. It’s the vocative (the for you use to address someone) of prdelka which means “little ass” and you oughtn’t use that to address anyone whose ass you would not be allowed to playfully slap.
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Prdel is something diferent,but some people say prdelko as honey,love i.e.
Thank you for the article,I am always hurry,my weekends are full and I don’t like foreign people for the first moment,but I am not ofen naked 😉
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Hi Carmine, excellent post. You really pictured the most important things I’d “warn” anyone who’s planning on moving to Prague. I’m a czech living in Italy. I might try and do the same for foreigners coming to Tuscany. ;)
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Ahahah and that would also be interesting!
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Love it! I am sure my husband will find this article useful.. passing it on 😊 And good job for getting it completely right..
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Excellent article, nice and balanced! You have nailed it in almost every regard. Keep the faith in us Czechs, please :)
I especially enjoyed it because of the comparison with Italy – I am Czech, but my sister lived in Rome for a long time. I love visiting Italy, but there are things that shock and annoy me – you can imagine: as a Czech obsessed with etiquette in public transport, like “those who exit always go first”, having to cope with Italians, who simply charge simultaneously in and out with their elbows in the air :))
Just a minor thing I would like to correct:
The thing with perfect public transport and yet nobody using it – I experienced the same in Munich. perfect train network reaching 50 km around the city, extremely cheap tickets (for Bavaria purchasing power), running 24/7…yet everyone is using cars.
Perhaps if there really is a special Czech affinity for cars, it’s not because of obsession with time, but rather status. This is a common thing for whole central and eastern Europe. We had to (and most still have to) live in relative poverty, therefore we want at least not to FEEL poor. Average Czech would drive to work even if it takes twice as much time as with public transport, because, you know, public transport is for losers. Very common derogatory nickname for public transport is “socka”, as in “social case”. Go figure.
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Thank you very much for the comment! I can very much see your frustration when being abroad, and especially in Italy :)
And I will make a little edit to integrate your point of view about public transport. I didn’t want to sound like I was judging. Coming from you, it’s a different story :)
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I agree with #3, having lived in Prague and Brno for 20 years. When asked by a doctor once, “where does it hurt?” I said, “right back here where I have this big testicle.” I’m a woman by the way. Also, once asked for a “butt massage” instead of a “back massage.” . . . those pesky diminutives. The masseuse didn’t think that was a strange request which brings me to your #5. If you had taken off your underwear for your swim, you would have attracted more attention assuming you are circumcised.
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No I am not, in Italy is not really that common. Thanks goodness.
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Regarding your point 6)
I think in general we are suspicious of people that take religion seriously. Any religion. We don’t and we want to stay that way. It’s one thing to visit the church once a year, keep the relatives’ grave tidy and sing a few Christmas carols at the right time of the year and a completely different one to pray ostentatiously in public and try and force your hygienic and dress rules onto others. Religion is your personal thing, if you really feel like having one.
The Jehovah witnesses were just made fun of, we don’t think that would work with Muslims.
Until the recent migrant crisis the support for antiimigrant groups had been minimal despite a fairly large number of expats and immigrants including lots of Vietnamese.
It’s not about race, it’s about religion. And about not being noisy and not trying to change us.
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To point 4: Yeah. Czech beer. Maybe we love alcohol and beer to much. Almost nobody adress this as a problem in here, but it is. Half of my friends(or more) could be considered alcoholics, some of them even consider themselfs as alcoholics and are kinda okay with that, as far as they are still able to “function”(=makeing money). But it also tends me to say that this, as much as time obsession and grumpyness are conected to reality of how life in CZ is. It’s depressing. A lot, especially in winter. I would say that wast majority of people(3/4) do jobs they hate or at least dislike. If you don’t keep your time organised, especially in prague, you can’t manage anything, you just go to your job, and back from it. If you live out of prague, your job is probably in big factory. Theres nothing heppening in your town. Sometimes some local feast, nothing really big, you have to go to prague/brno/olomouc/plzeň for that. So you drink, because that’s only way how to socialize. If you try to stick out, you will be corrected, people hate unnormality. So you drink with your co-workers, or alone, if you can’t withstand them. You look grumpy, because you remember that tomorrow morning, you will have to get up and look into all those grumpy faces of those unthankfull bastards again. But since you work hard, and you managed your vacation days well, sometimes you can get out of that shit, go somewhere else, for culture, or into nature, where there are no concrete disguisting comunist buildings, no grumpy suckers bothering you, no dickhead boss, no sticking to timetable. Thats an extreme, yes, but especially in reagions around borders, sudety, this is pretty much reality of daily life. You have to treat yourself once in a time, but you have to keep your time well managed so you could have both money and time for treating yourself. It’s cunundrum of sadness and emptiness. But beside this, there are others, people that usually traveled around the world and returned, or just openminded human beings that didn’t alowed themselfs to “be corrected”. Eco activists, wierdos, people with ideas, sometimes religiously inspired. There’s more and more of them, of us, people with ideas. Because that’s really the biggest problem- NO IDEA. Common believe that if you try to change how things are, you MUST fail. It will fail. If not from inside, cause people are assholes, than from outside- state won’t help you, just put more obstacles in your way. And if it would be happening on state level, other states would somehow not allowed it. So it’s better not to try at all, just mind your own bussines, and try to enjoy your life as you can, if you can.
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wow Jan… your words should really be read by everyone here.
Don’t forget that – at least initially – my post was written as a fun piece, and I see it’s generating a lot of debate on a much more serious level.
About what you said. It’s true. I have a huge respect for people and there are so many who live lives that are not easy. I also come from an area (the district of Napoli) where social problems are huge, including a big presence of organised crime. Still people try to react, they stick together, families are stronger, and group friends have stronger ties.
The thing is, I think the specificity of Czech Republic (and central Europe in many cases) is that the communist regime destroyed for many people the sense of community and trust in each other, while creating or reinforcing the idea . It will take time for it to be restored.
The solution may be, as you say, in the IDEAS. But they are coming. I have visited Prague for 10 years, first time in 2006. I have seen big changes. Not all positive, but in many cases it means more young people in positions of influence, fresh influences, a lot of life energy. In other words, ideas. And not only in Prague.
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My got!I am sorry for you!Please,move to different place and you can realize we are fine and completely ok,not what you wrote.It is so sad!Your life is so sad!
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Brilliant piece and so accurate! Just one remark: if you want to keep your still somehow positive (and false) opinion regarding xenophobia and racism, never try to discuss the Roma people with anyone. 7 out of 10 Czechs despise them and that could still be an optimistic guess.
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I know that. The issue is complicated.
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Sorry, but what “racism” did you hear from president Zeman or other “opinion leaders”? We just do not want to be responsible for mistakes (or more likely, crimes) of ” western ” countries in Africa and Middle East, as well as do not want no-go zones and communities for which there is no law.
Nevertheless thanks for your article, it is a funny reading.
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well, wearing in a bedouin costume with a camel and shooting in the air of Old Town square is a racist performance, full stop. The discussion about Islam is complicated, but there are 1 billion Muslims in the world. That kind of communication really doesn’t help things to get better.
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Please note that recession (recese) is very popular here. This one was stupid, of course (in place where most people were foreign tourist, who did not understand). But Konvička is no opinion leader. Last month as a candidate into Senát in Tábor he received 7 or 8 % of votes (the performance also contributed to this poor result).
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I understand. I love Czech humour, especially when it’s strong and dark. My friends say that I have a very similar spirit. No problem with that.
My point is, equating Muslims with camels, kalashnikovs and shouting Bedouins is insulting and inaccurate for probably 950 million people. Yet it creates a stereotype. I cannot justify that as “a joke” since I don’t think it helps at all to relax anybody.
Turkish and Arabic speaking friends tell me that are afraid to speak their own language on the phone, because they have been labeled “”terrorists”.
This is small-minded and I will do what I can to stop it. Even write a serious note in funny post.
I have no intention at all to argue with you :)
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This incident was purely a a work of a small group of asshats who try to build their political career on this topic and it was generally viewed as a very bad joke. Luckily…
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Hey,great article.When it comes to racism-i dont think that czech are racist,ww just dont like things which are out of order and different.We say that crow sits with crow (vrána k vráně sedá) so we are trying to sit with same mentality,tradition thinking people.We dont expell you as long as you are trying to blend with us.We will push you out and we will be really mean and offensive if you are trying to change us and our world. I dint mean it in bad way but after living 5 yrs in usa i finally pin point my issue with people from different backround and race.
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How long have you been living in Poland so that you can have such strong opinions about racism there? or maybe it’s based on media?
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There is a big paragraph at the beginning of the post that defines it “satire”. You can google the meaning if it’s not very clear.
Anyway fyi my comment was about the attitude of the government. I have the right to have my opinion, I think. Never talked about the people (I personally know hundreds of Poles and I have only huge praise on each of them).
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I think you aren’t naturalized enough yet :) Some of the points are really idealized. Once you learn to be properly grumpy, you’ll generalize Czechs to endless complainers in pubs ;)
I’m Czech by the way. Grumble.
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:D guys, the whole post wanted to be ironic. It’s getting the proportions of a sociological essay. It’s not :)
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hi, i just have to laugh hatd since it’s 2 years i moved in italy from brno and i have a similar funny blog as you only from the opposite site :-D great to know it’s not just me “suffering” from moving abroad.
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link it here :))
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I am married to a woman from the Czech Republic.
Everything you wrote is absolutely true, all of it.
My wife read your article out loud to me, she was practicing her English.
She laughed herself stupid over the accuracy of it. Telling me it is all true, and she didn’t have a clue about any of it until just now.
I’ve know for the last four years.
And yes,”what are we doing this weekend”, is a question I fear deep to my core. It has been the cause of conflict when I have no answer.
She turns to me laughing, see it’s just in my nature. Giggle giggle…
Uh huh…followed by, what are we doing on the weekend anyway?
Good story
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Eheh nice story. So I am really not the only one. Thanks for the feedback :)
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Yes, thanks, it is absolutely right :-) great article. I love to be in nature, I love to do some of the outdoor activities, but the clothes “for the mountains” in the city annoys me, absolutely. I am really angry about “bad clothes for the situations” in Prague. Yes, people can be very etiquette, it is great and allright, for the black-tie moments, etc. But normal day? At job? I am only one in suit here in office (apprx. 60 people around), and I am only one with something that can be called dress-code. Because our company has no dress-code, there are people in the clothes, which I will not wear at home, for night! Urgh
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I think #11 came out of the discussion. Czechs LOVE talking about Czechs and the Czech Republic and the Czech way of life and Czech problems and Czech…oh god. We plainly take ourselves very seriously :-). A lot of introspection mixed with genuine fascination about the way we are. ‘Tis strange for sure.
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I am Czech living in the States and you just inspired me to try writing up something similar. Your article is awesome, I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you! :)
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I’m Czech and I love the article. Well done :))) (I’m also a planning freak, crazy and yes, we all do know all the mushroom and berries, haha)
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Sei italiano, verro? ;-) Mi hai fatto ridere! Tutto e verro, il tuo spirito di osservazione e perfetto! Io amo Italia, ci vado molto spesso e mi piace sentire che anche per un italiano Praga e la republica ceca sia interessante :-) Grazie! :-)
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La repubblica ceca è molto interessante e ero curioso di trasferirmi. Sono molto contento. Non mi lamento nemmeno dell’inverno :)
Le differenze culturali ci sono dappertutto, anche tra vicini di casa.
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Mi lamento io dell ´inverno qui ;-)
…hai raggione delle differenze culturalli… anche se io preferisco scoprire le cose che abbiamo in comune…;-)
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you and i are probably the only Carmine’s in this entire country :)
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Nice to meet you, brother :)
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Regarding zombie apocalypse survival in Prague/Czech Republic, try getting some books of Jiří Kulhánek :) Especially Vládci strachu, Cesta krve series or Vyhlídka na věčnost.
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Would love to. Are they translated in ENG?
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No, they aren´t, especially Vládci strachu and Cesta krve series are very treaured in my country. Author´s opinion about his first three books is very bad- its very strange, i´m owner of all his fantastic trash writings and i consider mentioned books as his best- so i don´t think he´ll be inclined to new foreign language edition. Anyway- good article, i was smiling all the time, when i was reading. But you forgot our big love to animals, especially dogs- somebody already mentioned it- and how much we love books. There is 1 public library to 1970 citizens and we really use them :)
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True. The palace of books in vaclavske namesti is one of my favourite places in town. Clearly it’s a place of book lovers.
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That is so true! I didn’t realize some of the stuff, when I was still in CZ, but when I moved to England, I had culture shock. In matter of being Gentleman, some Brits do better then Czech guys to be honest, but the style! I am dying when I see people going shopping in dirty sweatpants! And I don’t mean “quickly pop into local Tesco express for a bottle of milk”, I am speaking about “big shopping trip to Oxford Street, London”.
And everyone has lots of time! Friend tells me that he’ll pick me at 10:00 and shows up 10:30, casual thinking that’s almost on time.
Anyway, this post reminded me how I miss Prague (not the grumpy people though). I hope you are enjoying it there and your czech is getting better ;)
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Funny, i’m Czech and I moved to Prague from Brno. Im going to gym 6 times a week and still don’t consider myself sporty. And yes, car is status, planning is strong and . Good article.
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I totally agree!! :) perfect article :)))
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I (Czech) have a foreign (Romanian) wife, so I was kind of forced to face the cultural differences already and will give you a bit of feedback, even if you did not ask for it :-)
1) (Capitol) Yup, just like it is with many other countries and I suspect that the bad feelings towards us come mostly from jealousy. You know, money, fun, culture and shit happening all the time
2) (Bad mood) Yeah, we are grumpy when sober.
3) (Language) Haha, KUDOS to my wife for not giving up and best of luck to everyone else!
4) (Food) You gave the best description of our cuisine I heard so far: “rich, solid, intimidating” :-D
5) (Nudity) Well, this might have something to do with your circle of friends to be honest, I would say we are where you see yourself in your graph. But when we go to a wellness place, we wanna see them titties.
6) (Xenophobia) Classic fear of the unknown. So much talk over a beer and no real experience. Except maybe for gypsies and Russians, but that might be just me.
7) (Time) Certainly not my case, but it probably is on point for all the other Czechs.
8) (Sports) Oh hell yeah, baby. Plus we like to own our own stuff, not renting it too much. I recently found out that just me and my wife (whom I kinda have to introduce to sports) have 9 helmets at home.
9) (Transportation) Plus the public transportation is pretty much non-stop, even though you won’t see me in night buses/trams, they’re a bit dodgy. I would also like to introduce you to buying tickets with your phone (SMS – not online). Fast and easy, once you save the right number. As for cars, it has never been about status for me, but laziness all the way.
10) I would like to hope so, but times are changing, so fingers crossed so that we keep some level of etiquette.
What matters the most however, is that I had fun reading your article, as I am sure everyone did.
Great stuff and see ya around (eventually)!
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Thank you for the well articulated feedback :)
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Czechs explained. 100% amusing and like 95% true :D
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There is one thing to keep in mind, Czechs have very different opinions when it comes to our current president Zeman. A good tip is not to discuss politics with us, Czechs. About the racism thingy, it most certainly is not true, Czechs will treat you the way you treat them, it is as simple as that. But I understand that some foreigners may feel like they are being mistreated, if you are for example from a country with different values (like talking loudly in public), people will most likely not like you, but that is only natural I would say. In my eyes Czech Republic is not the most welcoming country for foreigners, especially because of the older population, but then again, can you blame the country that has been betrayed by its allies, invaded and occupied two times in the last century?
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Fair points. But as they say, history is history. Let’s try to make sure the same things will not happen again.
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fantastic article mate. You hit the nail on the head in all points. Well done and all the best :)
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True :D But I think you forgot our big love for dogs :) 43% households have at least 1 dog, it´s about 2 millions of dogs in CZ :D
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True! I read somewhere that 1 million families have a dog. I was wondering if it’s the same dog.
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Wow, soooo funny and sooo true. You are brilliant observer.
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Loved your article man :) keep it up. As a Czech person from Prague, I could not agree more with most of the things that you wrote about.
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If you want to meet someone who was definitely NOT born to sport (or do gardening etc.), you are welcome in our family ;-)
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If you still live in czech, I would like to meet you, and I would be pleased to explain a lot of these things you’ve said in this post. Like those things about the time, and about the car, and about most of it :D
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Hey! Nice article, good to have a feedback! I’d just love to add a comment to some of those.
a) four genders.
Czech language used to be even much more complicated than you know it now. It had more past tenses, you had plusquamperfectum, imperfectum; apart from singular and plural you also had dual, aaand a lot of other stuff. It’s funny that maybe knowing your Latin might actually help you with Czech (and that I appreciate being Czech while learning Latin).
The gender can have two types – there is a “natural” gender, which you can rely on in cases of what really has a gender, and that are living things. Some general names for animals might not be so helpful though. The really important thing to learn is that the gender is “grammatical”. During the evolution of the language, certain declination subtypes came up. Those subtypes help you decide how to decline any flexible word (adjectives, numeralia, pronomina), but mostly I’m now speaking of substantives – because Czech language loves order, if a substantive was irregular in some way, it would eventually alter to agree with the most close and similar subtype. That is only a grammatical issue. Nobody thinks a chair (židle, fem.) has any feminine attributes (and, compare in Latin: poëta, ae – a poet; natural gender is of course masculine, but declination is according to the type “femina”, which is feminine. again, only a grammatical thing). Shifting all neutral things to neuturm would be much more confusing for us native speakers.
What pushed our language to be organized was the first wide and serious attempt to make a grammatical research for the new translation of the Bible, which happened at the end of 16th century.
Also the masculine inanimate is one of the relics from past times – we love our traditions (fun fact – there was a really wide research concerning the using of capital letters – nobody seems to master that, and everyone complains. but still, the majority of 10 000 participants agreed that they want no change!).
b) czech are super sportsy etc.
I agree there is a considerable number of insanely sportsy people, but still, I and my friends are the most anti-sportsy people you could ever meet. on the other hand, it’s true that in high school I had a rough time with my anti-spor attitude…
but to agree with you – berry and mushrooms experts, that’s what we are! also, do not forget that no inconsiderable number of amateur fishermen can be also found here.
c) nudity – I have absolute horror of being nude and know people who fight the same issue. But maybe we’re just an exception confirming the rule..
d) planning – when I was younger, in my teens, I despised having a plan. I would go on my weekends to town, just to walk and clear my head, and go where my feet would take me. My parents on the other hand, always interrogated me – where I was going, for how long. And I couldn’t answer! Well, Now I’m much more organized, because I just do so many things. It was so funny seeing that this is a national trait :D I’d say one thing about that – people I know and who are so busy, the are not busy shamelessly neglecting their friends. I think Czechs, or those I know, like to have their stable circle of friends with whom they also share their busy schedules (that’s what I do). If you then wish your Czech to not tell you they’re busy, you have to patiently work hard to get to the privileged circle of those friends who they share their time with. It’s just, here, you have to really earn it. But if you do, you won’t regret!
Being busy a lot, I however never despise some quality lazy time, dolce far niente! In fact, that’s what I do just now.
Thanks for your article!
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Wow, thank you for your very comprehensive feedback!
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As a Czech who just returned after 10 years back home from abroad (Norway, Netherlands and Poland, sorted from the most recent to the least recent) I totally agree with everything being said. I mean, there are no words that would properly express how much I agree with your article! I just shared it with some of my Norwegian friends.
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Genius satire, not insulting, true in every part. I AM one of the planning time-crazy Czechs you find around and it was a real interesting experience when this part of mine crashed with my British husband. Every time I introduced him (on Monday) to the idea of inviting some of my friends for the weekend, it was met with “Naaah, I would like to have this weekend free.” which for ME meant “I already planned some slacking and couching for this weekend” so I thought “Ok, I have to come to him sooner then.” and I tried making plans WAY ahead, thinking that is the right way to go – ha, ha. The opposite is true. Saying “Would you mind if I invited 3 of my friends over for Friday evening” on Monday is not gonna work. But saying “Darling? Three of my friends just finished cinema nearby, would you mind if they crashed over for a few hours?” Just before Friday evening IS working, meeting with very indifferent “Yea, no problem.” – and now explain you to me, how does THAT make any sense? :-D
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It totally does :D I don’t see why you would need an explanation.
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Hi there, nice article! I grew up in Italy now I live here the last ten years. ..and I see everything that you said it is true.. apart the sauna! Please read how you are supposed to do sauna because it is actually more disgusting to go there in a swimsuit because of the bacterias, ask some finnish people. :)) Anyway nice article! I wish you all the best in the Czech Republic. :)
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